Hmmm... I'm not so sure if it's even called paranoia, but I'm sure it's some kind of disorder.

Recently, I come to terms of finally telling someone about the panic attacks I've been having recently and even way way way before. These panic attacks don't happen for no reason, there's always a basis why it suddenly hit me. For instance would be the fact that whenever I'm in a car and the windshield wiper starts moving. I don't know why, but I seriously get annoyed when the windshield wiper moves, to the point that even if it's raining I would want the driver to stop the windshield wiper from moving. But of course, I never asked the driver to do that, instead I closed my eyes and started counting imaginary sheep.

Another would be my certain fright with speed. It worsen when we had our manaoag trip last Feb. Five minutes after the bus started moving, I suddenly feel phobic of speed, or in tagalog "Nalula ako sa bus", where I had this nagging feeling that I must make the bus stop, or else I'll totally have panic attacks. Well, I didn't make the bus stop, instead I plugged in my headphones and decided to sleep all throughout the trip.

I don't know what this is called. I don't think it's even phobia, and it just worries me.